I leveled the grill and started the morning fire with a handful of snapped twigs and a strip of birch bark- looking out across Lumsden Lake the early morning mist was breaking way. I filled two pots with water and placed them on the grill resting atop a bed of rocks encompassing the flame, then I went to down to the lake to fill my bottle from earth’s cup. The past two days of camping has been a chore- a rewarding chore mind you- but this is the first day where I actually have time to let the water boil, mosey down to where the rocks kiss the water’s edge and really absorb natures landscape- now with belly full of oatmeal and pancakes I left the campsite a mess; pots unwashed, fire on last embers, tent and all in transition- but I’m left without a care in the world. The sun warms my face while its reflection pyramids itself directly into my lap as if energy drew it there- the call the cool granite home while the breeze at my back chills my feet, even while wrapped in two pairs of woolen socks. The cliffs to my left, house sheer rocky crags with a direct vertical drop ideal for jumping, had the water not been chilled by today’s mid-October air. Yesterdays wearing hike to Topaz alongside excitement- having been almost 5 years since my last visit to Killarney, and six years since being accompanied by good weather. I, with balls clenched like teeth, jumped into the icy Topaz only to jump back out as fast as I went in- and stupid me, being the rugged adventurer, jumped right back in- this time swimming 100 ott meters to a more accessible point of exit for an asshole without shoes on, and by the time I leisurely backstroked & front stroked myself up onto the rocks my body went from icy to burning in a matter of a second. Now this is a feeling I’ve never dealt with before and Adam told me that a burning sensation was the last signs of hypothermia- either way 8km into the park I had clear and stubborn intentions of staying put in one of Ontario’s natural wonders, so I dressed and dizzily hiked up the steep rocks back to the path where my body finally started to loosen up and come back to its senses. Like our previous two nights camping- it’s a taxing routine of setting up tent, hiking the forest for enough wood to cook, have tea and keep warm for a portion of the night before retiring to our bags, cooking, washing, and all those trips down to the water to fill up our kitchen sink for the duties ahead. They are all done with pleasure and patience for the great outdoors. No chore is quite the same- each time you fill your canteen the sky morphs- leaving a varying lasting impression, the trees are cast with ghostly shadows, the lakes ripple smacks rock with unique sound- all while the rustling and crackling of sticks in the woods implicate an eerie sense of danger and unknown. All of my senses are overflowing, like water boiling in our blackened tea pot, and they are incapable of staying within its confines when they react with all the elements on a night much like tonight.
The melting sun has hit its homestretch after being caught behind a string of unclassified shapely clouds. Much like pictures I have taken this week, engrossed and solely genuine in nature, void of man and city thoughts- I too have left business and other home based thoughts at bay.
This getaway was much thought after and played a very key role to the revitalization of my focus and interest at home. I have continuously been tethering the idea of moving back to Korea- and perhaps why I went to Killarney with casual thoughts and peace was because the day prior I had been dealt a handful of restored faith. Why I loved Korea so much aside from its foreign appeal, neon lights, and 24 hour mentality was because it was comfortable- my bode away from bode and perched atop all that was the fact that I did that things that were driven by passion inside of me; journalist, poet, mc, teacher, adventurer, boyfriend, money maker and friend- all things missing in my current life. But, all these things have seemingly passed through the turnstile- I am happy- something I’ve been my entire life, though varying in degrees, but life is on the up and up I feel. I know Canada’s not ideally where my heart yearns to be, but while my anchor is temporarily cast to sea, I am to take full advantage of my docked voyage.
Now with passion and comfort hung to fresh walls in frames and familiar steps along floating floors- I feel at home! Everyone should have a residence that they have equitable space to host gathering and take pride in. I have found this suspended above a computer shop in Westdale- with no connecting neighbors in all directions, a large bay window overlooking king, a living-room fit for a bid kid, a large TV hooked to laptop, the comfiest of couches all interwoven with music that flow from two turntable and a microphone.
All this leading to the second passion in my life- two Thursdays ago I performed my first open mic in which I received impressive feedback and contacts to create a live hip-hop band (being the 3rd passion of mine to start performing once again). The main kick for my homage is my biscotti business which I have helped create and am passionate and dedicated towards, but was always left transient abandoning thoughts solely financially based- I had even taken initiative to sell my motorcycle to relieve some of the stress of penniless pockets- but all of this changed in the course of a day when I landed a job working for d.f. wilby tree surgeon company- a secondary income that has far surpassed my focal income- that aside this job has allowed me to stay Canada side to water my business. The other perks have been due to my new found interest in the local Augusta and James street scene that house many like-heads to the extent that I even commented on how there hasn’t been any talk of sports in months- a refreshing change to my old circle. Everything in my life currently has been working with pulling forces to sync my life up in alignment- one of my remaining interests left unfulfilled is my passion of companionship/relationship- a soul mate that loves and cares with such ferocity. But, it is a new day and I will no longer stress this issue and let time and action take its place. My new found feeling of serenity has allowed me to breathe in the tall pines and fall colors that are peppered through Killarney and breathe out without any lingering burden to take my head out of the misshapen clouds.
oct 17-19 2010
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