Saturday 3 March 2012

gotta love the nana

1 )Foot in mouth:

Sit I do
My shoe by shoe
With back askew
I chew my food

Chew it right
Ten times each bite
My grandma fights
In her sleep at night

How does she know
 I’m eating so?
Cause you’re sleeping Joe
And eating your own toe

Ohh!


2) Grandma says:

My grandma says
She loves me much
My grandma says
With loving touch

My grandma says
Be careful boy
My grandma says
It’s not a toy

My grandma says
Don’t hit the ball
My grandma says
And shouts her call

My grandma says
You’ve hit his head
My grandma says
I think he’s dead

My grandma says
What have you done?
I didn’t hear you grandma
I was having fun

gotta love the nana

You make great brisket
And I love your matzah balls
I can’t wait to visit you
At  your house over the hol’s
The last drop I’ll lick it
Till the soups gone from my bowl
I love my nana

Potato latkes
By the dozen
Serve them up for
All the cousins
Apple sauce
With homemade loving
I love my nana

Kinadelach
Yeah, that’s right
Gifilta fish
That’s outa sight
rugalach
That will beat the plight
I love my nana

You’re always in the kitchen
Every holiday
Cooking and baking until the break of day
While we wait outside mouths watering
Waiting for you to say
Foods ready everyone
Now it’s time to say

Shabat
What What! (It’s Friday night)
Passover
What What! (I need some bread)
Yom Kippur
What What! (Day of Atonement)
Rosh Hashana
What What! (Happy New Year)
Hanukah
What What! (Fuck Christmas)
Sukot
What What! (Where’s the lu-lov?)
Birthdays
What What (All I need is love)
Bris
What What! (You gotta trim that penis)
Bar mitzvah
What What! (Here’s your gift sir)
Bat Mitzvah
What What! (One more time)
Anniversaries
What What! (Congratulations)
Funerals
What What! (Respect the life)
Weekdays
What What! (Just because)
Late night munchies
What What! (Were only human)

So the next time you’re hungry
And you’re about to make a samich
Put that shit down and call
Your badass motha-fucking nana’s

gloomy attendants

Deserted derbies attended by pathetic deadlocked gloomy attendants
Paths overgrown and lined with sun-faded race cars
                Attacked by rustic orange growth
Silence replaces children’s laughter, the revving of engines
 and screams of excitement
The attendant sighs thinking how he used to hate the call
Of having to pull a child’s car back on track
A tear chokes behind his eye

gilded mc

I’d rather be a gilded MC
Then sell my soul to the devil just to sell a cd


You’re a thesaurus rapper
Attacking with words and vernacular
That’s not in your vocabular

free healthcare?

I sit bound to wheelchair for the first time in my 26 years. My knee locked in confines and a foreign key in hand. Eyes surveying injuries with locomotive thoughts “I wonder what happened to him?”
I view the shoes on nurses and medics scurrying to and fro- they look comfy… more comfy than mine. Who needs shoes anyways when you’re confined to a wheel chair?
On my way to the hospital while I was packing my bag with full understanding I would be in for a long day, I packed two books JK’s Big Sur, and Krakauer’s Into Thin Air. My notebook and pen, not just any pen- the only pen I like writing with- the Uniball and I even questioned grabbing a second incase this one ran out of ink. But, alas, I didn’t because I couldn’t bear the pain of hobbling the few feet to the cup of pens on my dresser. I also chose to use the washroom in the minutes before leaving not to be stuck relieving myself on a toilet that has sat god knows how many asses.
I really wish I grabbed another pen. It’s odd how you never know where your life will lead you- just yesterday I was set on jumping bike and heading to Tobermory on a whim. The haste weather changed my departure, or idea of departure to next week and that action spawned me to call Cyndi since I was staying at home, which led to roller-skating, thus being stuck to a wheelchair now in Mac hospital with a  dying pen and my blasted knee.
Free healthcare
You delicious oxymoron
Free you are not
I pay by being walked passed hour on end
I pay by being labeled as a number
I pay by being overlooked
I pay by being crammed in room after room
I pay by endless waiting and waiting
I pay by time away from work and family
I pay by sitting in pain while I get bumped down the list
I pay because you don’t hire more doctors and nurses
I pay because the government doesn’t fund new hospitals
I pay
Free healthcare
Free you are not

mistaken love

Art‘s a big boy, not fat, but Im sure he’s running thin of wearable clothes from within that hunkering wardrobe he has. Hell, he’s been a big boy all his life. If you knew him, you wouldn’t be able to picture him small either. Good hair! Thick sprouting weeds that would bounce back after a child’s legs chased across his lawn. His honest eyes have seen the world - waking up along sun-soaked beaches of Thailand and Colombia and being cast off the tops of the Andes. He really loved life. Though it was his smile that intrigued all the women- and if you shared a connection with him- he would make you feel alive. Real, just a real person, and you should have seen the smile on this boy, and I mean boy, the way the south be referring to a boy. The gums on this sucker too- you could probably rest a teacup on them. He sure didn’t like too many things more than his freedom- “just give me the open road and a clear sky and I’m a happy man” he’d always say.
We met amidst a game of tag- you know the wonderfully inexpensive game of running around a field trying to touch each other. In our case, it was a park on, aptly named, Park street. We were seven. I introduced my name as Sean; he liked it so much he changed his name to Sean right there on the spot. I could have fought him for it, but I knew I had a friend for life. I’ve been right there along with him even up to the day he lost his smile.
My life hasn’t been aces either- always living in the shadow of Art. He always managed to one-up-me on everything from better marks to better looking girlfriends. I don’t want to bore you from the start, because honestly what cool things do children get up to anyways, so let’s save your eyes and my fingers and I’ll just start from where my life started to become a little more fun.
It started about five minutes before a phone call.
The phone rang and call display says it’s my dad. I picked it up to stop the ringing.
“Hey pops, now’s really not a good time”
“Hey buddy, so I just got off the phone with your mom…”
“Uh-huh” I said trying to speed up the conversation”
“… and she doesn’t know what to get you for your birthday. Can you give me any hints so that I can her- she wants to surprise you?”
“Uhhh… A golf club! Skateboard! Basketball! I don’t know! Ffff… Dad, I really gotta go” I tried spitting out in a muster. 
“ Ok, ill do that! I heard were going to Merche’s for dinner tomorrow, is your girlfriend coming?
“I hope so” I said grinningly.
“Pops, I really gotta go!”
“OK, buddy! Love you. Happy Birthday!”
“Love you”
I hung up the phone. Click.
“You love me? I love you too baby” my girlfriend gleamed from in between my thighs.
I didn’t have the heart to tell her that it was really directed at my father. I mean she was giving me my first blowjob ever, and there was no way that I was going to jeopardize its awesomeness, because at that moment, my life began. 

guilty

Granted no one has thrown away the rest of my body-
I am not needed permanently nor have my parents forced me into taking homage-
I guess it’s that I feel guilty for leaving and being so little apart
Of their lives for the last three years that’s keeping me put.