first words 2009

January 1^st  (1/365)

Doors half open

Living room freshly askew

Lights off tonight

Still shutters blind view

Wooden floorboards

Heat now beckons from within

Lights off tonight

Dishes fill kitchen

Head on pillow

Faded, fabric lies unmatched

Lights off tonight

Nag Champa leave ash

Box brims of waste

Worn shoes neatly line entrance

Lights off tonight

Unfinished

January 2^nd  (2/365)

Hark!!

My body writhes itself out of sedation.

Sleep is nothing more than a couple of shut eyes.

But what lurks beyond these temples-

 A world perched amidst swinging vines.

Reach out- clasp!

Embrace, even dance.

Feet swimming like poodle clouds amongst a fiery backdrop.

Alas! A resemblance?

A connection-

            A linear link unhinged dipped in witches cauldron.

But what is sleep- but truth unmasked and exposed through a thick fog.

Some claim

            A real world exists

            Behind these eternal temples

One where truth and ruse frolic hand in hand

            Infused as one together

            Disguised as one another

If I never wake

            What sweet life soul would take?

But perhaps just the opposite

            Would be at stake,

For man stole the I from Machine and learned to bleed.

A dream is a dream is a dream, indeed.

January 3^rd

Alarm violently rapping

Abruptly ends my sleep,

I, Zombie, thrash at the snooze!!

Peace!

Caw, Caw, Caw

Minutes lost without a trace.

January 4^th

Restlessly stroking, poking for skin underneath layers of sheets and borrowed clothes a still body lies. Thoughts marathon ‘mongst my mind mixed midst marching memories o’ malice- I weren’t ready the first go- Naïve!! Free!! Rock Star Fame!! Why would I wither while wishes whooshed whizzed whirled with every welcomed word spoke! I wasn’t ready, hell; I wouldn’t have seen it coming if I witnessed it first hand outside my own skin.  The ancient regretful saying  goes “we were in love- but I weren’t ready- by the time y’ar rolled round- she off and loved one else”- This is the classic poetic tale of love lost.  The perfect catch hooked; while reeling the baby in- perhaps something as subtle a passing gust, a loose thread, slip of the finger- and she’s lost to the seas- only to be another’s perfect catch.

January 5^th

This morn

I opt for eggs

Over easy extra rest

As I sit to eat toast

I wipe

The crust from my eyes

I try to milk

Every last second

Before my first day back to work.

January 6^th

A school of dreams fought its way up the chocolate Amazonian waters of my mind- only to be released from my line by sunrise.

“Everyone’s got their kicks- reading, writing, love, Tetris”

January 7^th

Rising late- you’re certain to fall.

January 8^th

The ol’ house is back to its ol’ self again

            Breathing alive

            Full of life

            Brimming to the tits

The wooden spoon cannot halt the frothy suds from dancing off the edge-

                                                                                                                   Rejoice.

January 9^th

The last soldiers clung to life

            Open targets through barren lumber

Flutter of birds who sing with knife

            Each soldier that falls echoes thunder

So grasp onto your winter plight       

            And hold tight until the summer

Then you will rejoice the light

            Till next fight amongst the others

January 10^th

This is one of those days where I am happy to be alive.

I awoke next to go a beautiful girl

On a spontaneous train ride to an ice fishing festival-

Unaware of the journey yet to be embarked

January 11^th

A day forever lost in the wind!

January 12^th

Maybe it’s OK to be working a job that I’m not passionate about- because, it is still great to be alive.

 January 13^th

To the untalented fags

Spray-painting subway stations,

And defacing public property-

Graffiti’s another form of aesthetic robbery

January 14^th

Oh how my interests in women change so abruptly. Only but a few days ago, I was reciting my love for Alexis and now she remains but a distant spec from my mountain view.

I have met three young ladies this week that have sparked the conquer-like demons out of me and have taken my initial frame of mine off Alexis. I know this is innate to man, but what if she would have accepted my pronounced affection- how long would it have lasted?  Knowing that it’s only been 10 days and I’m already over her- where would my heart be at now?

Is it my heart playing tricks on me/ or my mind. Perhaps, I haven’t met The One and will know or feel when she comes along. But what if the opposite occurs, what if I just let her pass.  It is a lifelong battle of time and right mind- or perhaps I need to learn to fight for what harder to make things work.

Another pursuing question- when do I choose to challenge rejection and shadow a love that has been revoked- and make her love me!  I have heard and seen it time and time again- but I never have once fought. 

I am the passive pig who hands his house over to the wolf time and time again.

Hark!!

January 15^th

She walks with the news

To obscure her views

Eyes plastered to the print

Not even noticing her shoes

January 21^st

3 more days!!

For what you ask?

Well, till I can start

Getting good night sleeps.

January 23^rd

So I went motorcycle shopping yesterday,

But I realized I suck on the clutch and would have

Killed myself riding home. I desperately need a new

Vehicle, I have grown tired of public transportation

And being deadlocked under the earths crust.

I want life. I choose life- the cool breeze, the sun

And the moonlight guiding my journey, obstacles,

Danger- the edge.  I crave the edge.  I’m not living

Unless I’m on the edge. Today I will dance again

With the clutch and see who leads. If I am victorious-

than she will forever be mine, for I am a conqueror.

January 24^th

I can’t imagine a life before internet-

Wake up: check your email, news, sports, weather… whatever

Now they have made it so you don’t have to leave your house

Online jobs, schools, banking

Shop for food, furniture, clothes, puppies and brides

You could be a good samaritan and donate,

Or harbour child pornography and be a creep

Try your hand in theft

Downloading music, movies, books, and software

Think you’ve got the guts to murder-

Well, kill people with the click of your mouse

In your favourite RPG

I say- fuck the earth’s cycle

Let’s give up on it

Its no good, it’s proven!

I think the direction of the world is facing a computer screen.

And I will be the first so say-

Control- Alt- Delete.

January 29^th

Back to work-

I really don’t know how my life has turn,

But for the past year and a half abroad

Teaching overseas to be exact

My weekdays teaching seem to zoot by-

While my weekend linger on,

Ive questioned it and have come to the conclusion

that I spend my full days active

and it rolls into night

only sleeping when necessary-

and it goes from Friday at 5

until Monday at 1- always non-stop

But, with the weekday

I work 1-5 and I’m home by 6

Have dinner, watch a movie repeat

I think it’s the repetition that moulds

My days together.

Now, I am embarking on a challenge

To unfamiliarize my weekdays

So they too feel like a weekend-

And that would be true living.

January 31^st

This writing marks the most beautiful day of the year to date.

And let a permanent smile rest upon my face.

February 2^nd

Motorbikes and women

Crowd my brain

Health and poetry

School and drugs

Sports and movies

Food and music

Family and friends

Responsibility and growth

Concern and care

Humility and praise

Productivity and boozing

Motorbike and women

Crowd my brain

February 4^th

I awoke with a new conscious

Marvelling at how deep I dove

Into my psyche,

Questions explode creating new life paths

Like cooled lava

Following an eruption,

Instead of avoiding

This dangerous new ground,

I, not even tip-toeing,

Gracefully embrace it as a new frontier,

Unoccupied, unsoiled, pure-

Oh, how I danced,

Twirled and drenched myself

In this new land

July 11^th

Fuck I can’t commit to nothing.