breaking the silence

Breaking the Silence!

His mom knew before he did-

At only four years old

His eyes didn’t see it

Sweet and innocent

With mind retreated

From the evils he would breathe in

Or the demons that would beat him

Or the meaning of defeated

Through all the weekends he’d be pleading

And all the evenings he’s left bleeding

And all the people that would leave him

Are all the reasons he’s left heaving

Chest dressed with heavy breaths

Breathing

Breathing

Depleting

But at only 4 years old

His eyes didn’t see it

Like his sister did

Now a teen growing

More conscious and aware

He was beginning to see the thorn

Before the rosy glare

While his innocence

Eroded from nosy stares

Whispers passed lips

Down the halls he loathed to fare

He couldn’t help the clothes

He chose to wear

He was born inside a body

Of a woman with flowing golden hair

And legs he would scold with Nair

Pearls, painted toes & olden flair

He could have folded his pair

But he played his hand bold and bare

Chest pressed with choking air

Coping

Coping

Floating prayers

And now as a teen

His began to see

What his mother & sister saw

In him when he was wee-

Now employed

And on his own

The hatred grew outside his home

Bathrooms at work

Littered with poems

They called him a fag

And attacked his own

And with cracks of bones

Tongue-lashed over the phone

Blasts thrash like pelting stones

Into the trash he was mentally thrown

But for 33 years

Day after day after day…

he had shown

with his head held high

and his wounds neatly sewn

denying with silence

his cover not blown

within himself,

but low

low

and alone

Now as a man

Whose felt the pain

Whose dealt and dealt

Knelt down and prayed

While mother & sister never felt shame

His father’s bond must be saved

so his lips remain sealed

For another decade

Now a husband

And a dad

His clothes that hung

Now placed in bags

No time for shows

Dressed up in drag

Incomplete

On his chosen path

And like a hand that rose to ask

Should I fold my roaming past?

“NO” retorted back!

“You’re free! Now go at last!’

Well Hell,

Emotions clashed

And choked and gasped

Until divorce was signed

On two broken drafts

So he sat and drove

 to a home that had no past

alone

alone

Black!!

And now as weak

As he’s ever been

He’s lost his kid

To every other weekend

But through all this wind

He never blew his bid

To miss a game

Or gin or kings

But reality is sinking in

And begins to conquer him within

Slinking

Sinking

Drinking wins

And now

40 years into his life

He met a woman

Who would change his pli[ght

A black soul

That stole his light

He became sheltered

And out of sight

Well, we lost touch

But hell that’s life

With swollen fists

I held on too tight

To a pencil

And began to write

I hate you

And that bitch you wifed

Life had

Lost light

Yikes

Now a man at his father’s bed

To open up

And clear his head

He choked out

The life that he’s lead

To come clean

Before lying dead

Expecting reject

his reply instead was

“as long as you’re happy

And a good guy

Why dread

I accept you

My son, my kid

And he cried

And cried

Silence now fed

While I was next

On a drivings rest

He explained himself

With sigh in chest

And before I digest

I say

I accept you

Guy or dressed

Cause I paid Dennis Rodman

The highest respect

I said wry and jest

And a smile crept

And silence left

And now a man

At fiftyish

On his second divorce

To a shifty bitch

Who married

Strictly just to hit it rich

But bit off more

Then she could fit

Into her mouth

That sucked and spit

The bond my father

And I had knit

Over the years

Before they met

But now it’s over

Kaputz

That’s it!

Here today stands a man

At a new frontier

Faced on the streets

Or in a mirror

A man whose head

Is finally cleared

To live open dolled up in gear

It took a lot

Of strength and years

To tear down walls

And find true peers

That earned your trust

And shared your tears

To never

Ever

Silence fear

The end is here!