his finger shook tapping the podium

His fingers shook tapping the podium. Draped in white- Talis worn like scarf his white ancient beard jutted like the untrimmed natural earth. He chanted as rabbi’s do. Tonight Sep 17^th 2010 Shabbat and Yom Kippur our family sat to the right- chairs unfolded in a row now filled with the tailored fabrics of our best garment. His voice revved like a motor working overtime to climb hills then lulled on open terrain- I made it a challenge to read from the beginning to the end of the sermon (191-238) not necessarily following his speech but instead following in English. Reading the Kol Nidre, Shema, Kaddish and other poems I search for the truth and realism in its reading but am left questioning its origin. I, a devout believer in evolution find it terrifically hard to wrap my head around stories of a single creator of sea/land/people/everything basically- I truly believe if it happened to be this Moses character he was either one of two things 1) way fucked up on some biblical drugs and had one hell of a trip or 2) something you still see in today’s age these super religious over-zealous self proclaimed prophets who are here to show you the way to self freedom, self righteousness and self worth… all, obviously for the price of a pretty penny, which our rabbi preached on several occasions and left us on the holiest of holidays with a “don’t forget your checkbook”- who wrote the torah? Was it just a bunch of guys sitting around tired of breaking their backs in the heat- so they decided to create a book?

“We will write down every moral act that’s already

Been instilled in humanity and repeat it over and over

And over and over to death then tie it all together with

References to us as O Lord every other word just for

Good measure- to show them we really mean business”

No one can be this egotistical people will think. I can picture the first guys sitting along a bar with a pint laughing till they’re at the edge of their seat “I know I can’t believe it either…. 2000 years and still…”

What I don’t get is that if Judaism is the first known religion and the truth… how have so many others

God’s stemmed from Judaism, clearly the Buddha, Allah, Jesus, and all other religious figures are no more than fabricated tales of humans- perhaps special and persuasive humans, but humans nonetheless- yet we have formulated our lives around lies and stories that separate us into creeds and religions- ad still to this day people eat it up. How can you approach your rabbi or priest and ask them “how the hell have you spent the last ___ years of your life preaching a book of made up stories about mystical figures who no doubt have been created by man, entirely as a tool to gain power and wealth over the masses- the minimal reiteration you do of the 10 commandments- or more softly put- common knowledge- is not enough to gain respect or appreciation or fulfillment from your work- it honestly feels like a crook- read… read… read lil story be good, donate, see ya next week- what the fuck? I just feel odded out by how many people believe in this- or have been brainwashed to believe religion is a total mind control- if the government doesn’t have us tapped out already; religion is just another little tidbit to go along with it. I know I’m being harsh and close minded to the what-if’s or possibility of a supreme being- how can I be so sure when there’s no conclusive evidence proving against it- all I have to say is I DON’T TRUST THE GOVERNMENT OR ANY FORM OF RELIGION, NOR THE NEWS OR MEDIA OR ANYTHING IN THE PUBLIC EYE- how can I trust when the richest of resources are deemed illegal only support other trade?

(Weed, hemp oil still being drilled)- when machines are created to turn plastic back into oil-yet will never reach the market- when there is 1000\s of eye witnesses and video proof of explosions detonated within the trade towers at 911- where influential and revolutionary presidents and musicians are killed at the height of their fame when their message becomes too powerful- where taxes on oil, drugs and liquor fuel a nation- where prescriptions drugs display on commercials suggesting suicidal thoughts- where man has yet to be treated as equal- where the quality of life to depreciate with each oncoming year- where bad health and heart disease stem from poor nutrition though we allow KFC to introduce their double fried chicken banned sandwich while million+ chickens they genetically create by chemically breeding until they become mutated are the backbone of their menu- where small business’ can’t catch a break while corporate building are thrown up overnight- where dollar reigns supreme in the judicial system and celebrities get a free pass to walk all over the city- where lives are not seen as equal and dually treated so blatantly segregated in front of all to see, yet everyone turns a blind eye.

Religion is not real- its juts another business- the only thing is you can’t blame the puppets in charge that have bought into it-because they truly believe- you can’t be upset more so than feel sad that they have wasted… yay time on their life living a lie-(though I guess it’s not a lie if you believe and want to believe).

The prayers came to an end after a briefing of Yom Kippur, the day of atonement, spoken in a colorful, soft voice from the rabbi who was I’m sure a gentle, kind-hearted, loving man of God- he, who I have no qualms with- and am actually left with a better understanding of Jews holiest of holidays- a day where we fast and ask for forgiveness towards god for our wrong doings unjust towards over the year- though we must make peace with man- to man, and not to man through god- the unknown poetry that freckled the book written centuries even millennia ago is beautiful in its own historic way- even though repetitious and hard to wrap my head around I still appreciate its craftsmanship.

And as I have already and currently continue to bash religion I try to observe it in new light- a light that allows me to find value in its bondage- A light that allows me to find face in its message- A light that allows me to strip away the modern world and observe a piece of history- whether how fallacious or unbelievable. And a light that allows me to share a time with my family. And this is what I truly value from religion- not only does it bring our people together- it brings my family and I together as well.

As the rabbis fingers tap the podium- his white godly image and peaceful tongue has touched all of us- and I know he is not the evil behind religion- he too is just a man, a man working for a dollar. God bless.